‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help
‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help
Martha Ongwane now gazes with affection at her lively four-year-old daughter, Rachael, a far cry from the time she nearly ended her life. Two years ago, the girl’s autism had left Martha feeling overwhelmed, desperate, and deeply troubled. Non-verbal, prone to biting, and unable to remain still, Rachael’s behavior had driven Martha to the brink. She recalls pouring poison into a cup, intending for Rachael to drink it. “I told myself it would be better if she died because that would mean she would rest and that would be the end of our problems,” she says softly, staring at her hands. Yet, her heart held on, and she wept after reconsidering her decision.
In the east African nation of Malawi, where resources for autism are scarce, Martha faced isolation and blame. Her neighbors accused her of causing Rachael’s challenges, urging her to confine the child. Without understanding autism’s nature, the community lacked empathy. But all that has changed. Two years later, the mother and daughter share a warm, quiet moment at home in Mzuzu, northern Malawi. Rachael climbs onto her mother’s lap as Martha prepares maize porridge, nsima, for lunch. The girl laughs, embracing Martha’s face—a stark contrast to the despair that once defined their relationship.
A Glimpse of Transformation
The shift in their dynamic is remarkable, largely due to expert care the family accessed through Saint John of God. This Catholic-funded organization offers community-based mental health services and a school for children with special needs. For Martha and her husband, it became a lifeline. Alongside receiving counseling, they found a support network of educators who could address Rachael’s unique challenges. “For a woman to reach a point where she feels she should kill her child—this shows we’ve failed her,” says Christopher Mhone of Saint John of God. “Her burden became too heavy to carry, leaving her without the emotional strength to endure.”
Yet, such support remains rare. According to WHO data, over 60 million people globally live with autism, but in Malawi, the situation is dire. The country has just two developmental paediatricians for a population of more than 22 million and only three consultant psychiatrists. The term “autism” is unfamiliar in Chichewa, the most widely spoken language, often translated as “ozelezeka” (mentally challenged) or “ofuntha” (troublesome). Misconceptions abound, with many believing autism stems from witchcraft. In a nearby community center, Christian and Muslim leaders gather to discuss these ideas, sharing their beliefs about how autism is perceived in their culture.
One man claims magic is used against expectant mothers, leading to autism. A vicar, wearing a large gold cross, adds that everyone knows of bewitchment. Through these sessions, Saint John of God gently challenges such views, promoting practical interventions. The organization emphasizes that autism is a neurodevelopmental condition, influencing how individuals communicate, interact, and perceive their surroundings. It exists on a spectrum, affecting people in diverse ways, from intense focus and strong memory to innovative thinking. However, in places where mental health funding is overlooked, only those with extreme behaviors are recognized, fueling stigma and discrimination.
